


Wicked Game

by LoveofEscapism



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alpha Ben Solo, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Play, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on the Song Wicked Game, But It Is Still Frowned Upon, Drama & Romance, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friends to Lovers to Enemies, Love, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega Rey Solo, Smut, Step-Sibling Incest, they are not related
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-08-31 23:07:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20248144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveofEscapism/pseuds/LoveofEscapism
Summary: “We’re not related,” she whimpered, wrapping her legs around him, trying to get him to impale her.“Not by blood, Omega. Not by blood. But by name. You’re already a Solo.”She hated that part and loved it all in one. When her mother married Han, all those years ago, she changed Rey’s name along with her own. At the time she loved it, being part of a family...but now. Now, it was the worst decision her mother had ever made. That and bringing Ben Solo into her life in the first place.“Not your Solo.”





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AlbaStarGazer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlbaStarGazer/gifts).

> Hey there, it's me, again. So, this has been in the works for MONTHS. It started as an angst fic, then an a/b/o angst fic and now it's step brother/sister a/b/o angst fic. AND I OP-
> 
> This is for my love [AlbaStarGazer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlbaStarGazer/pseuds/AlbaStarGazer) who is going through a hard time right now. I really hope you enjoy the next addition to your songfic collection. Love for you, always. 
> 
> A massive thank you goes to my beta [fettuccine_alfreylo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fettuccine_alfreylo/pseuds/fettuccine_alfreylo) who made this what it is and was SO sweet about the entire thing. You are the best <3
> 
> This story is based on the song Wicked Game by Grace Carter and you can listen to it while reading [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZRyLpnQwXY).
> 
> Please read the tags, this is a step-sibling relationship and also A/B/O. 
> 
> I really hope you enjoy. I am very nervous, after reading so many legendary a/b/o fics for so long, I really wanted to put my own spin on it and do the trope justice. 
> 
> Thanks lovely reylos <3

**Chapter One**

_ The world was on fire and no one could save me but you _

_ It's strange what desire will make foolish people do _

_ I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you _

_ And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you _

****  
  


“I shouldn’t be here, Rey.” **  
**

Rey looked at Ben Solo, knowing that he was right. He  _ really _ shouldn’t be here. But as always, in moments like this, it didn’t matter. So here he was, licking her gland in  _ that _ way that drove her crazy, his hands feeling every inch of her boiling skin.  **  
**

Rey was in heat. She had them approximately every three months, four times a year, for the last eight years. That was thirty-two times she had been through this, and each and every time, Ben Solo had been there to see her through it.  **  
**

They weren’t mated. Weren’t even a couple. They were barely even friends. Because why would they be? They were on different sides, opposing teams. Rey was close with the family he abandoned, a family that would be hurt if they knew she was with him, a family that she was part of. And yet, she couldn’t stop it. Each and every time they said it was the last, they knew it was a lie. But it was one they would continue to make.  **  
**

“I’m no good for you,” he growled and bit down on her pebbled nipple, the cry coming from her throat completely contradicting what he was saying.  **  
**

“I know.” **  
**

“I’d only hurt you— _ fuck _ —destroy you.” **  
**

“I don’t care, I need you,” she mewled as she felt the slick trickle down the inside of her thighs.  **  
**

She was a mess, always, for him. With every heat she had, she subsequently triggered his rut, it ending in them fucking for days on end, their bodies as one. The outside world all but forgotten.  **  
**

But once it was over, once the fog had lifted, they went back to normal—to barely acknowledging the other. They weren’t meant to be. Of that much they were both certain.  **  
**

Though sometimes, only sometimes, she watched him while he slept. He looked younger than his years, less angry with the world and more  _ himself _ . At least, like the Ben Solo she remembered...and loved.  **  
**

* * *

****  
  


_ “You’re doing it wrong.” _ **  
**

_ Rey stopped what she was doing, pulled back and looked up and Ben Solo, the alpha that had been glued to her side for the last seven years. Even after all this time, he was still breathtaking, the most delicious, handsome, beautiful human that she had ever laid eyes on. Even when they were eleven, and her mother had introduced her to him, she had quickly decided he was unlike any human she had met before.  _ **  
**

_ “Of course I am. And let me guess, the big, strong, Alpha wants to help me?” _ **  
**

_ Ben rolled his eyes hard and then took a deep breath. “Do you always have to bring up the fact that I’m an Alpha, Omega?” His eyes were sparkling, the way they always did when he was teasing her.  _ **  
**

_ Rey stuck out her tongue, turning back to the frying pan to continue making the pancakes. It was their ritual, every Saturday morning, and she loved it. Even if every week he continued to tell her how to make them, to watch herself while she cooked. He hovered over her, always. She knew it was part of his biology, that he couldn’t actually help it. But also, the other part of his worrying, that part was all Ben Solo.  _ **  
**

_ He’d always been protective over her, she guessed it came with the territory—of what they were to each other.  _

_ Rey was too deep in her thoughts, too busy making sure she flipped the pancake at the right time, to feel him standing behind her until it was too late. His large arms coming around her to help hold onto the spatula, the heat coming off him was overpowering and Rey could feel herself become slightly dizzy.  _ **  
**

_ He smelled like heaven; deep, rich, musky, in a way that she was sure would soon propel her into her first heat. It was something she worried about, that they all did. An Omega and an Alpha living in the same house, so young, so full of hormones...so close. Though, Rey didn’t see it as a cause for concern. It was the opposite, actually. She couldn’t think of anyone better to help her through her heat, contrary to what other people would say.  _ **  
**

_ Ben’s hands had enveloped her own, his breath on her ear as he helped her turn the pancakes over. She was glad for his assistance now, happy to let her Alpha help her. Not that he was hers, not really.  _ **  
**

_ “You got this, just flip this one now...ah, perfect, Rey. You did good.” _

_ His voice was sin and she could feel her panties become wetter—not the wet she knew would happen with her first heat, but wet enough that she was sure he would smell it, that he would realise just how much he affected her.  _ **  
**

_ He’d noticed before, many times, in fact. She knew she should feel embarrassed about it, but she didn’t, because she had noticed the exact same thing with him too. Any time they were in close proximity, any time she wore her short shorts for cleaning Han’s car or did her hair with the three-buns that he liked, she could smell him, she could see the way his eyes darkened, his pupils full blown.  _ **  
**

_ It always ended in her fingering herself furiously in her bed at night, thinking of him, wishing she could sneak down the hall and climb into his bed. But she couldn’t, it would be wrong, for many reasons.  _

_ His left hand fell to her waist, his head and lips so close to her gland. She could feel his breath against it, spreading goosebumps all over her body and making her quiver.  _

_ “I did good?” she whispered, leaning back into him.  _

_ “Yes, such a good Omega, aren’t you?”  _

_ He was rubbing small circles on her waist now, gripping then rubbing, then gripping again. She couldn’t answer him, instead she whimpered, this time pushing back into him and feeling something hard and hot poking into her lower back.  _ **  
**

_ They were at a point of no return, she could feel it, the electricity buzzing around them. They were thinking with their bodies right now, not their brains. All Rey knew was that she wanted him—more than anything.  _ **  
**

_ Then she felt it, his nose against her gland as he took in a deep breath, then groaned, the loudest and sexiest thing she had ever felt in her life before her.  _ **  
**

_ He stayed like that for thirty seconds, grinding against her softly, and then, then he pulled away, walking around to the other side of the kitchen counter.  _ **  
**

_ Rey nearly fell over, the loss she felt from being apart from him, from him moving away from her, was hard to recover from. She stared, unable to speak as she took in how wild he looked, how tortured.  _ **  
**

_ Because the thing was, he did want her just as much as she wanted him. He would argue even more, she thought. But it was wrong. And there would be consequences.  _ **  
**

_ So instead, he watched her finish cooking the pancakes from the other side of the room and then they ate in silence, not looking at each other in the eye, before clearing up and going their separate ways. They had been so close, so close to falling over that edge and doing something they could never come back from. _

_ But, it had still been too late, because that night Rey had her first heat, more than likely triggered by the sniffing incident from earlier that day. And Ben had been there to see her through it.  _ **  
**

_ Which would have been fine, amazing even, if Ben Solo wasn’t her step brother.  _

* * *

****  
  


“Why are you always  _ so _ wet, Omega? Will you tell me?” Ben asked, his head in between her thighs as he lapped at her cunt. “You remember that day, the day you had your first heat? I could fucking smell you from down the hall, smell your slick and knew when I got to you it would be  _ everywhere _ .” **  
**

Rey’s eyes were rolled to the back of her head, her hands clamped through his thick hair as she pushed him further into her, grinding against his face.  **  
**

The things he said when they were like this, when they were so far into their own bubble that the lines between what was and what is started to blur, should be illegal.  **  
**

“That day, I wanted to bend you over the counter and fuck you so hard you wouldn’t be able to walk. You know how hard it was to pull away?” He had a finger inside her now, then two and she was cramping around them, but it wasn’t enough—and he knew it.  **  
**

“Why didn’t you?” She found herself asking, though she already knew the answer.  **  
**

“Fucking your step-sister is frowned upon, haven’t you heard?” he replied, his voice bitter as he pulled back to stare up at her from between her thighs.  **  
**

“Don’t say that right now. I don’t—I don’t want to talk about it. Just fuck me,  _ please _ , Ben.” **  
**

She pulled him up, his fingers sliding outside of her cunt as he came face-to-face with her, grabbing her hands and pushing them above her head so they were locked.  **  
**

“You like to forget that part, don’t you?” He was smirking at her, in that smug way he did whenever they spoke about their situation. “The fact I’m your step-brother. That if they knew what we were doing, they’d never forgive you.” **  
**

He was staring into her eyes, looking for a reaction and she wouldn’t give him it. They’d fought over this too much, too many times and she wasn’t sure she had any more fight in her. He was right, of course. If Han and Jyn knew, if they thought for a second that this was going on—it wouldn’t end well.  **  
**

“We’re not related,” she whimpered, wrapping her legs around him, trying to get him to impale her.  **  
**

“Not by blood, Omega. Not by blood. But by name. You’re already a Solo.” **  
**

She hated that part and loved it all in one. When her mother married Han, all those years ago, she changed Rey’s name along with her own. At the time she loved it, being part of a family...but now. Now, it was the worst decision her mother had ever made. That and bringing Ben Solo into her life in the first place.  **  
**

“Not your Solo.” **  
**

And as soon as those words left her mouth, she knew she’d fucked up. She hadn’t meant it in a bad way, but it course, he’d taken it as a painful reminder that they would never be.  **  
**

“No. Not mine.” **  
**

And he thrust into her with all his might, his eyes as dark as night, his hair falling over his eyes. It was amazing how she felt so whole, yet so empty. The fire that had been burning was being sated and she felt  _ right _ . But her heart, it hurt more than she could admit. It was painful. All of it.  **  
**

He continued to hold her hands above her, clearly wanting to take all control away. It suited her fine, she liked— no, she  _ loved _ , giving herself to him fully. For as much as they had a strange sort of relationship now, she would trust him with her life, with everything she had.  **  
**

“This fucking pussy was made for this, for me. It makes me crazy,” he growled, his thrusts fast and frenzied.  **  
**

They didn’t do slow, not anymore. Now when they fucked it was as quick as possible, minimal touching and the odd kiss, if she was feeling especially needy.  **  
**

Not like it was before, when he would spend  _ hours  _ learning every single inch of her body. When he would take his time, when he looked at her like she was his entire world. 

It wasn’t that the sex now was bad. In fact, it was the opposite. It was mind blowing, orgasm enduring, leg shattering. No matter if Ben Solo fucked hard or soft, fast or slow, it was the best sex she had ever had. And actually, the only sex she had ever had.  **  
**

He really shouldn’t be this good at sex, this good at fucking her within an inch of her life and still knowing that her body could take more. At this point, she was sure he knew it better than she did.  **  
**

She could feel her cunt clenching, more and more slick coating him, and she could only imagine the state her sheets would be in.  **  
**

“Would fuck you forever if I could,” he whispered, his lips again on his favourite spot; hovering over her gland, his tongue flicking out and licking it, then pulling away before he did something she knew he would regret.  **  
**

It really summed them up; not going the entire way but coming back for more, for little bites of what they could take and then retreating again.  **  
**

“Hold on, I’m close.” **  
**

He pulled back, out of her, and she cried out, calling out for him to come back to where he belonged. He didn’t respond, instead he flipped her over onto her stomach as he opened her legs, sliding into her just as quickly and starting on his brutal pace all over again.  **  
**

If she wasn’t so dizzy from the change of position, from the feeling of his cock destroying her, then she would have told him she was close. Instead, when he hit the spot inside her for the hundredth time, she fell, white clouding her vision as her cunt clamped around his cock.  **  
**

She screamed his name, curse words, how amazing it felt. And just like always, he followed her. His groan of her name almost animalistic as his knot swelled and he emptied inside her.  **  
**

Rey could hear him panting above her, could feel the sweat dripping from his body and landing on her own. It was perfect, it was everything. Nothing like the first time they did it and yet the same. Two confused people that were only sure of one thing; they needed each other.  **  
**

He rolled them onto their sides, his arms now pulling her closer as he continued to cum inside her. He moved his hips slowly, delicately, and she smiled when she felt him kiss her shoulder blades, his touch so light.  **  
**

They lay like that for awhile, the only thing she could hear was the sound of their heartbeats and really, it was a beautiful thing. One that caused her comfort. **  
**

“Wish you weren’t so annoyingly fuckable,” Ben finally said, his voice rough. **  
**

“That’s the problem?”  **  
**

“No, no, sweet Omega. That’s not the problem at all.” **  
**

And it wasn’t. That was never the problem. It was everything else that was. 

_ No, I don't wanna fall in love _

_ No, I don't wanna fall in love _

_ With you _


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for your response to the first chapter. I am over the moon that you like it and are coming on this journey with me. YOU ARE LITERALLY ALL THE BEST AND MAKE ME SMILE SO MUCH.
> 
> [fettuccine_alfreylo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fettuccine_alfreylo/pseuds/fettuccine_alfreylo) is a beautiful beta angel and is just THE BEST. Thank you for looking for this for me <3
> 
> This story is based on the song Wicked Game by Grace Carter and you can listen to it while reading [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZRyLpnQwXY).
> 
> Please note that there is loss of virginity in this chapter. Hope you enjoy!

**Chapter Two**

_ What a wicked game you play to make me feel this way _

_ What a wicked thing you do to let me dream of you _

“Have you heard anything from Ben?” Han asked thoughtfully, picking up a fry and popping it in his mouth. **  
**

Rey nearly choked on hers. She had heard from Ben, this morning actually, a quick text to let her know he’d left his wallet at her house and he would be picking it up later. **  
**

He’d left in such a rush yesterday, just like he always did as soon as her heat and his rut were over. It was awkward and unsettling how quickly things changed between them. The need, the want and the primal part of themselves vanishing. All that was left was the heavy darkness of the situation they were in.**  
**

He’d whispered a quick goodbye, threw on his clothes and bolted. Which may have suited them both at the time, but now she would have to see him—outside of her heat. The last time that had happened was Christmas...which had been a complete disaster. Ben has lasted in his father’s house for precisely seven minutes before walking out. And for each one of those minutes he had completely ignored her.**  
**

“Nothing,” Rey replied, giving the shortest answer possible.**  
**

She didn’t like talking about him with her mother and Han. It felt wrong, dirty...like she knew she was doing something wrong. Besides, she hated lying. But what was she to do? Tell the truth? That she had heard from her step-brother? That her cunt was still sore from how hard he’d fucked her yesterday? That she was wearing a scarf to hide the mark he had sucked into her neck just near her gland?**  
**

“Weird. I tried calling him the other day but went straight to voicemail.**  
**

“And that’s weird?” Jyn replied, looking at her husband knowingly.**  
**

“Well, he never answers, I know. But usually it rings first. Just weird he actually had the thing turned off—you know what he’s like with work. Never has the damn thing out his hand for more than ten seconds.”**  
**

Rey was turning red, she knew it and hoped and begged they wouldn’t ask her why. Han was right; Ben was _ always _ on his phone. The tyrant he worked for, Snoke, had him on the clock twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Except, as soon as he stepped through her door, as soon as he drank her in, the first thing he would do was pull it out his pocket and switch it off. No hesitation, no phone calls, just off and placed away where he forgot about it.  **  
**

“Maybe he’s found someone? Spending some quality time with them?”**  
**

Rey watched as her mom winked at Han and she almost gagged. They were always this way, sickly sweet and so in love. Most days she was happy for them, truly, but then she would think of Ben Solo and any joyous feelings would soon morph into bitterness. It was a horrid cycle, and one she still wasn’t exactly sure how to break.**  
**

She wished the ground would swallow her whole, that they would talk about _ anything _ but Ben’s love life. She couldn’t stand it. The thought of him being with someone else...but then, the alternative option wasn’t really an option either. Because the sad thing was that one day Ben would find someone else—a beautiful, smart Omega. One that was better than her in every way. One that wasn’t his step-sister.  **  
**

“I don’t see Ben as the settling down type, sweetheart,” Han chuckled, taking his wife’s hand in his. “I mean, he’s never seemed that _ interested _ in anyone. The only Omega he ever cared about was that one over there.”  **  
**

Han smiled towards Rey and she felt like she was going to faint. Anytime the conversation moved onto Ben, or worse, her and Ben, she started to have palpitations.**  
**

“Oh, don’t get all flustered, dear. I didn’t mean like that—though at one point we were worried about that. Do you remember Jyn?” Han was laughing hard now and so was her mother.**  
**

Like it would be completely out of the realm of possibility that she and Ben would ever go _ there. _ It stung, in more ways than one.  **  
**

“Yes! Remember we came back from that long weekend away and the place was absolutely doused with air fresheners and we thought they were trying to cover something up?” Jyn’s eyebrows were wiggling.**  
**

Rey remembered it alright. It was the result of Rey’s first heat, the night when _ everything _changed. 

* * *

_ Rey felt hot—too hot—as the sweat started to drip down her spine and her hair started to stick to her face. She rolled back and forth on her bed, unsure if maybe she was coming down with something. _ **  
**

_ Everything seemed foggy, like she was falling in and out of a trance, her skin itchy as she scratched it. The day had gone from bad to worse for her. What had started out as a nice morning, Ben and her making pancakes and having that moment to now; both of them staying as far away from the other. Though, if she was getting sick then that was probably for the best. _ **  
**

_ She was going to get up, going to walk to the bathroom down the hall and get some medicine from the cabinet, hoping it would knock her out for the night. But as soon as her feet touched the ground, as soon as she stood straight; she felt it. The hot slick that started to seep from her cunt and down her inner thighs. _ **  
**

_ “Fuck, no—fuck, fuck, fuck,” she whispered, looking down at her legs and seeing the clear liquid staring back at her from either side of her shorts. There was a wet patch on the material and it was only getting worse, but it wasn’t collecting it all, because more of it, much more was now trickling down her legs—she was making a complete mess. _ **  
**

_ Panic coursed through her; she was in heat. Her first heat ever, in fact and she was alone, alone in her house with Ben. Their parents had taken a trip for their anniversary, would be away for another four days. It was perfect timing really, except from the fact that she shouldn’t be even entertaining the idea at all. _ **  
**

_ It was all fine and dandy to think about it, late at night when nobody knew. It was even okay sometimes to stare at him, to enjoy him...but never touch, never go any further than what they had done. _ **  
**

_ Except...she wanted to. _ **  
**

_ “Shit,” she moaned, her body cramping as her hands flew to her stomach. It hurt like a bitch. She needed something, needed to be filled and she knew there was only one person that could help her. _ **  
**

_ She couldn’t ask him, though. Thoughts of him rejecting her played in her mind. She wouldn’t be able to get over it. The humiliation, the loss of the Alpha that was her everything. _ **  
**

_ So instead she flung off her clothes, unable to take the scratchy material against her skin, and lay on her bed, legs wide open and her cunt gushing. Rey needed to feel something, needed some sort of real ease and her small hands fell to her small hole, slipping a few fingers in with no resistance as she started to touch herself. _ **  
**

_ It wasn’t enough, it would never be enough. But it would have to do. She was moaning, writhing on the bed as she tried to fill herself up as much as she could. So lost in the daze and the need that she almost didn’t hear the tentative knock on her bedroom door, or the Alpha behind it as he spoke in a voice she had never heard before. _ **  
**

_ “Omega,” he choked, “Rey? What’s happening? Are you?” _ **  
**

_ He didn’t need to finish the sentence, she knew what he was asking, her movements stopping abruptly as she tried to sit up. _ **  
**

_ “Ben, yes, I don’t. I don’t know what to do, it hurts,” she sobbed, aware of how pathetic she sounded but unable to hide it. Her mind wasn’t completely her own, the Omega part of herself pushing forward to become the most dominant part of her. _ **  
**

_ She could hear him huffing behind the door, she could smell him, the arousal that he felt because of her and it was exquisite. It was calling to her like a siren and if he didn’t come in here soon, she was positive she would stop breathing altogether. _ **  
**

_ The cramps were getting worse and she could feel how the walls of her cunt wanted to grasp onto something and not let go. Her bedsheets were a mess. They would need to be thrown out, probably her mattress too. She was that wet. But right now she couldn’t care less. The only thing on her mind was Ben Solo and how she needed him inside her. _ **  
**

_ “Rey, I could fucking smell you from my room. Fuck—it smells so good—I want, I’m so fucking hard,” he groaned and she wondered if he was touching himself, just like she was with only a door between them. _ **  
**

_ “Alpha, help me, please. Come in and help me. I can’t take it anymore.” _ **  
**

_ They were heading to the point of no return. His response to her question would change everything for them forever and yet, she had never wanted anything more in her entire life. _ **  
**

_ He didn’t answer, instead the door opened and he walked in, his boxer shorts at his ankles as his large palm wrapped around his cock, moving it up and down. She was hit by the sheer arousal that was emanating from him and in that moment she was a goner, would do anything to be with him. _ **  
**

_ “Fuck sake, Rey, you look fucking beautiful right now. Always, actually, but right now. Fuck. I want to knot you so bad and I know it’s wrong...but I just don’t care.” He was ranting on, clearly so out of his depths with the situation, but also set on what he wanted. _ **  
**

_ Rey understood; she felt the exact same way. _ **  
**

_ “It won’t end well,” he added, his eyes finally lifting from her cunt to stare into her own eyes. _ **  
**

_ He was breathtaking; standing there naked, his hair a mess and his leaking cock in his hand. Rey had never seen a dick before, not in the flesh, anyway. And she never wanted to see another one except from Ben Solo’s ever again. It was magnificent, thick and large and just perfect. _ **  
**

_ He was right. She knew herself that it wouldn’t end well. That no matter what they felt for the other, this could only be a one time thing. _ **  
**

_ “One time, Ben. My first time.” _ **  
**

_ “Mine too,” he said quickly and Rey’s heart started to beat even faster. _ **  
**

_ She had hoped that he was a virgin, as selfish and wrong as that may be. Growing up she had always been possessive of him. Never liking it if another Omega got too close to him. Luckily, he’d never been interested, always putting her first. But still, hearing him say the words out loud gave her butterflies. _ **  
**

_ “It will be our secret?” _ **  
**

_ “Yes, Rey. No one will ever know.” _ **  
**

_ They couldn’t, ever. And both of them knew that. But one heat together would be okay. She could get over that, have someone she loved and trusted help her out and move on. A small part of her brain was already screaming that this was a stupid plan, that she wouldn’t ever be able to get over him. But she ignored it, instead opening her legs even further and pushing her fingers in and out again. _ **  
**

_ Ben gulped, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he walked towards her, intent in every one of his steps until he is kneeling on the edge of her bed, his eyes as black as the night. _ **  
**

_ “You’re so wet. Fucking ruined the sheets, Omega.” _ **  
**

_ He delicately pulled her wrist, her fingers slipping out of her as he brought them up to his nose and sniffed, before tentatively enveloping them in his mouth as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. _ **  
**

_ If this wasn’t the source of every single one of her fantasies then she wasn’t sure what was. This image of him would be ingrained in her brain forever. _ **  
**

_ “I’ll be gentle to start, Rey. I’ll make this good for you, I promise,” he whispered, his breath ragged as he moved up the bed to hover above her. “I’m going to make everything okay. Going to break your pussy in and give you my knot just like you need.” _ **  
**

_ And he did. He took her virginity that night, looking deep into her eyes as he moved inch by inch inside of her, never once looking away. He kissed all over her, her cheeks, her nose, her neck...anything to make her feel good. He constantly checked that she was okay. That she was enjoying it. That she was ready to cum again and again. _

_ Rey had never orgasmed so much, cried so much, felt so much in her entire life. It was a night of many firsts; her first heat, her first sexual experience and the first time she realised that she was in love with her step-brother. _

* * *

“Hey, Reyby! Wait up!” Rey jumped as she heard her neighbour Poe Dameron walking up behind her.**  
**

He was smiling, which was nothing new as he was _ always _ smiling. And she got why; he had a lot to smile about. He was an Alpha, smart, handsome and basically had the whole apartment complex falling at his feet.  **  
**

Rey wasn’t into him though; she left the doting to her best friend Finn who was madly in love with him, but too scared to actually make a move. Besides, Poe was an awful flirt. But it meant nothing, he would flirt with a plant if it looked at him a certain way.**  
**

“Poe! How are you?”**  
**

“I’m good, all good. How’s tricks? I’ve not seen you in awhile.” He had that toothy grin, one that people fawned over.**  
**

“Fine, just busy, you know how it is.”**  
**

She thought back to her day with her parents, how they had went on and on about Ben for ages and in the end, she made her excuses to leave. She couldn’t stand it anymore.**  
**

“Sure, sure. So, I was thinking. Games night on Friday? You, me, Finn, Rose, Paige?”**  
**

She unlocked the front door to the building and he kindly took her bag of shopping for her. Rey had jumped to the corner store before coming home, filling up on all the awful snacks of the day to make her feel better.**  
**

“Let me check with Finn, but sounds good to me.”**  
**

“Fantastic, your place or mine?”**  
**

Rey went to answer him, to say his place as hers was such a mess and absolutely stinking of Alpha. But before she could say a thing, said Alpha was leaning against her door, his face red as he looked between the two of them.**  
**

“His place or yours for _ what _ , Omega?”  **  
**

_ Fuck. _

_ What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way _

_ What a wicked thing you do, to make me dream of you_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND I OP-
> 
> I mean...yeah. So, that all happened and I am dying to know what you all think.
> 
> Please leave me some kudos and a comment, and thank you for reading <3


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am overwhelmed by all of your lovely comments and messages. I appreciate it more than you know and it makes me smile SO DAMN HARD.
> 
> First up, thank you to my amazing beta [fettuccine_alfreylo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fettuccine_alfreylo/pseuds/fettuccine_alfreylo) who is a wonderful cheerleader and supporter. <3
> 
> This stunning moodboard was made by my beautiful friend [sweetkyloren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetkyloren/pseuds/sweetkyloren) and I LOVE IT SO MUCH.
> 
> Hope you all enjoy xo

**Chapter Three**

“His place or yours for what, Omega?”  **  
**

_ Fuck_.  **  
**

What striked Rey first when her gaze landed on Ben Solo was his anger, the way he clenched his fists at his side, the twitch under his left eye and the fact that said eyes were pitch black, his teeth bared. Next, was the way he was looking between her and Poe, trying to figure out exactly what they were. Never mind the fact he was also trying to _ smell _ if they had fucked—he didn’t even try to hide it. And then it hit her; his own smell _ . _ Anger, sadness, panic...obsession.  **  
**

Ben had never really reacted well to other Alphas being around her and she knew why—they were bonded, both of them so close, that the thought of anyone else taking their place hurt.  **  
**

And Poe, poor Poe who was standing next to her and looking between her and Ben, thoroughly confused. Not that she blamed him, Rey had never mentioned another Alpha to her friends. She didn’t want to put herself through that, to make up the lies about a man she had met, when in reality, the man was a part of her family. People wouldn’t understand.  **  
**

“Well. Answer me, Rey,” Ben’s voice was deep, dark...full of danger.  **  
**

“Who the fuck is this, Rey?” Poe asked, motioning towards Ben who currently looked like he was ready to pounce—and if that were to happen, she didn’t like Poe’s odds.  **  
**

Rey had seen Ben fight—he got into them a lot when he was younger. Something about being a young Alpha, hormones and the fact he always liked to be the best.  **  
**

“Yes, Rey, who the fuck am I?” Ben sneered, and walked closer towards her, so close that it was wildly inappropriate for what came out of her mouth next.  **  
**

“He’s my brother.” **  
**

“Step-brother,” Ben corrected, staring straight at her and ignoring Poe at her side.  **  
**

“Yes, sorry, not related or anything!” She added quickly, always having to stipulate that one point to anyone she met.  **  
**

She didn’t want anyone thinking they were related, she couldn’t stand it. Which was a problem within itself, but she didn’t care. Anyone thinking they were actually brother and sister made her skin crawl, it always had. Anytime her mother would introduce them as her kids, Rey would always correct her.  **  
**

“Now, who’s this?” Ben finally turned to face Poe, towering over him like he did with almost every human being alive.  **  
**

It would probably annoy her if she didn’t find it to be such a fucking turn on. She had a thing for his largeness, for his hands (and all the things they could do), for his feet, his ears...his dick. All things within proportion of this mountain of a man.  **  
**

“I’m Poe, Rey’s neighbour. Nice to meet you,” Poe said cheerfully, holding his hand out for Ben to take.  **  
**

Which he didn’t, of course. Instead he ignored him, staring back at Rey again, his eyes piercing into her own as he tried to figure everything out.  **  
**

“You together?” Ben’s face was red, his entire body shaking.  **  
**

And Rey, she was panicking. Mostly because this was all spiralling out of control. She wasn’t used to seeing Ben outside of her heat and it was throwing her off, never mind the fact he was meeting someone in her life that wasn’t a part of their family for the first time. The fact that the person was an Alpha didn’t help the situation—but at this point, nothing was going to salvage it.  **  
**

“No,” Rey replied, her voice hard. **  
**

“I wish,” Poe added, and that is what finally gained Ben’s attention. His head whipped around so fast that Rey was sure he had given himself whiplash.  **  
**

“Excuse me?” Ben was seething, livid and Rey wasn’t sure if she should step in or not.  **  
**

“It was a joke...well, not really. I have offered to help her through her heats—” **  
**

He didn’t get to finish his sentence, instead he was pushed hard against the wall, the bags in his hands falling to the floor as one of Ben’s hands wrapped around his neck. 

“Go near her and see what happens,” Ben bellowed, his grip tight as Poe spluttered.  **  
**

“Ben! Stop it!” **  
**

Rey grabbed onto his arm, the one that was holding Poe up and she pulled, trying to get him off, to make him stop. But he didn’t listen, his Alpha rage overpowering him.  **  
**

“You don’t get to touch her, _ no one _ gets to touch her. You hear me?” He was almost animalistic in the way he spat the words at Poe, his grip not easing one inch.  **  
**

“Ben! Put him down, now,” she shouted, her voice broking no arguments as she decided spontaneously to jump onto Ben’s back, her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. To anyone on the outside, it would look completely ridiculous. Except, being an Omega, being _ his _ Omega, meant that she was an expert at calming him down.  **  
**

Her hands fell to his ears, rubbing them softly as she whispered into his neck, “Alpha, I’ve got you. Stop this. Come back to me, please…” **  
**

She could hear him huff, feel him take a deep, calming breath, before finally letting go of Poe and stepping back, his hands falling to Rey’s thighs to keep her in place, to have her close to him.  **  
**

Rey looked like a koala, of that she was sure, plastered to Ben’s back—she tried not to think about what was going through Poe’s mind right now, of how confused he must be by their dynamic.  **  
**

“Sorry man, I didn’t...I didn’t know she was yours,” Poe stuttered, holding his hands up.  **  
**

Ben dropped her, letting her legs fall back to the floor as he stood a few inches away, his face now stoic, unfeeling. “She is not mine.” **  
**

“It sure looks—” **  
**

“Rey is not my Omega.”

* * *

_ “Rey is NOT your Omega, kid,” Han said angrily, his finger pointed at his son in warning. _ **  
**

_ Ben had a black eye, but the other Alpha had looked even worse. Rey wasn’t even sure what had happened. One minute they were looking at the film board, deciding which movie to see, the next a young, plucky Alpha was up next to her, smelling her...and then he wasn’t. It had all been such a blur, but Ben had thrown the first punch, and all of them after it minus one that had caught him straight in the eye. _ **  
**

_ She wanted to say she was horrified by the situation, that she didn’t need him to stand up for her. Except a part of her, the primal part and the Omega in her, loved it. The possessiveness that had overcome him to not even let another Alpha near her, well, it turned her on. As she watched him take control, pulling the guy away from her, she could feel the wetness pool between her legs. It was fucked up, she knew it. She could admit it, but yet, she still wanted it, craved that feeling. _ **  
**

_ “He was all over her, dad. What did you want me to do? Just stand there and let that happen?” Ben roared. He was shaking, still angry and clearly full of adrenaline. _ **  
**

_ Rey had only seen him like this on a few occasions, and all of them involved her. He was fiercely protective, always had been since they had first been introduced when she was younger. She could blame it on the fact they were step-siblings, that he felt an obligation to protect her like any brother would...but there was something, something in how dark his eyes went, how he was always hovering over her, that made her believe it was more than that. _ **  
**

_ “I’m all for you standing up for your sister, but beating a young boy like that, what were you thinking Ben?” Han looked disappointed, something that happened a lot when it came to Ben. _ **  
**

_ It annoyed Rey more than it should. He was helping her, making sure she was safe and this was what he was subjected to because of it. She could feel herself become angry, her blood running hot as she looked on at the scene before her. _ **  
**

_ “Don’t shout at him...please,” Rey choked out. “And he is not my brother.” _ **  
**

_ She had to say it, for reasons she would rather not over analyze at the precise moment. _ **  
**

_ “He is your brother, and I think you both need to remember that. People will talk, you must know that.” Han took a deep breath, pushing his hands through his hair in a way that reminded her of Ben. “A young Omega and Alpha in a house, unmated is bad enough. Hormones, erm, feelings. I don’t know. Things you are experiencing, you need to remember who you are to each other.” _ **  
**

_ Han’s face had turned red, this time not from anger but embarrassment. The fact that he was even bringing this up made Rey wish the ground would swallow her whole. She didn’t need to hear all the reasons they couldn’t be what she wanted. It was already tearing her apart more than she liked to admit. _ **  
**

_ “I don’t give a fuck what people think. If someone is harassing her, I’ll be there. This isn’t about biology. Why do you always make it about that?” Ben asked, his voice lowering as he looked at his father in the eye. _ **  
**

_ “You know why,” Han stated back at him, his gaze hard and all knowing. _ **  
**

_ It annoyed Rey, so she could only guess how much it annoyed Ben. Ben didn’t answer, Han looking between the two of them, shaking his head and then walking away, leaving them alone. _ **  
**

_ “Ben,” Rey whispered, walking towards him. _ **  
**

_ “Don’t...I know I shouldn’t have done it. I don’t need to hear it from you too.” He scuffed his worn out converse against the floor, not looking at her. _ **  
**

_ “Hey, hey,” she said, standing right in front of him, her small hand holding his cheek so he had no option but to look at her. “Thank you.” _ **  
**

_ And she meant it. She couldn’t have meant it more if she tried. She was thankful, thankful that he stood up for her, thankful that he was always there, no matter the circumstances. She hadn’t experienced it before. Her mother was always there, though not really. The only way she could describe it was that Jyn put her own world before Rey’s, which was fine, really. _ **  
**

_ But Ben, he always put her first. He had since the first moment she met him. An instant connection that was life-changing as soon as it happened. The small boy in front of her, looking at her wide-eyed and searching, and then realising very quickly that he had found it. _ **  
**

_ “I couldn’t stand it,” he whispered, both of his hands falling to her waist, gripping her like she was a life line. And maybe she was. _ **  
**

_ “I know.” _ **  
**

_ “I can’t stand anyone else being near you, not like that.” _ **  
**

_ He was being honest. Brutally. But she loved it. Wanted more. _ **  
**

_ “I don’t want anyone else near me like that. Only you.” _ **  
**

_ It was her time to be just as honest, just as open. Ben’s breath hitched, she could feel it because that was how close his face was towards her own, standing here in their parents’ hallway, out in the open, the conversation he just had with Han forgotten. _ **  
**

_ “You have me. Always.” _ **  
**

_ Rey quickly wondered if this was going to be it; her first kiss. They were close enough, their bodies touching, his lips hovering over her own. And she knew she wanted it. That she would never push him away. His eyes kept flickering down, up and down, between her eyes and her mouth, unsure of where to focus on. It was an impossible situation, so fucked up that she couldn’t even really contemplate it. But when Ben was this close to her and when he smelled this good, it didn’t really matter. Nothing did, but their bubble they had created for each other. _ **  
**

_ “Ben, will you ki-” _ **  
**

_ “Rey, Ben. Come here this instant!” Jyn’s voice bellowed from the kitchen, making both of them jump apart instantly. _ **  
**

_ Reality hit, stopped them from what was about to transpire. And even though she was happy they had stopped, she also had never resented her mother more. _

* * *

  


“Not your Omega, sure, whatever you say,” Poe laughed, looking between them both and stopping on Rey, giving her a look that said they would be discussing this later. But really, she didn’t want to have a conversation about her and Ben. It wouldn’t make sense, to anyone, especially her. “So, we are um, having a game night on Friday. You up for it?” **  
**

Rey nearly fainted, her gaze turning deadly as she looked at Poe. She wanted to shout at him, remind him that not even five minutes ago Ben had him in a choke hold against the wall. But apparently now that Poe had put two and two together, it was acceptable to invite Ben, her step-brother and lover, to their Friday night drinks and games. It was ridiculous, but at least she knew he would say no. There was no way in hell that he would want anything to do with her outside her heats.  **  
**

“Count me in. What time?” Ben answered quickly, still not looking at Poe, but staring at her and waiting for a reaction. **  
**

Her world seemed to be spinning out of control, the last fifteen minutes decidedly not what she had expected to happen. Ben Solo even being here right now was a rarity in itself, never mind the fact he was now accepting an invitation to her weekend plans.  **  
**

“7pm. B.Y.O.B. Also, look, sorry about before. I didn’t…” Poe trailed off, not really knowing what to say. **  
**

“Don’t worry about it.”  **  
**

Rey couldn't believe this was happening, how quickly things had changed now that Ben had staked his claim. She watched as Poe nodded once, walking down the hall to his own place, leaving the two of them alone. **  
**

“Are you fucking kidding me?”  **  
**

There wasn’t time for any pleasantries, she was raging, couldn’t actually remember a time she had been angrier. How dare he do this, after keeping his distance for so long, after only using her for sex.  **  
**

“What?” He actually asked her, his voice deadpan.  **  
**

“You’re coming to my fucking neighbours games night? What the fuck, Ben?” **  
**

“Don’t look too much into it,” he sneered, motioning for her to open her door, which she angrily did, it taking a few more times than it should have. **  
**

Something about him being here, the fact that they weren’t urgently pulling each others clothes off, it was making her feel strange. She wasn’t sure if she liked it or hated it. This just complicated things, even more than they already were. She didn’t know what to think. **  
**

“You’re being ridiculous, you know that, right? There is nothing going on with me and Poe and I don’t need you to-” **  
**

She didn’t get to finish her sentence, instead he had her pushed up against her door, completely different from the way he had held Poe. His hands grabbed her own and pushed them above her head, holding them there, his groin pressed against her own and she could _ feel _ him. How hard he was for her...outside of her heat.  **  
**

“I’m coming. I don’t care. He needs to know...he can't touch what isn't his,” he gritted out, pushing against her, rutting almost.  **  
**

She felt dizzy. This was completely new territory for them. She wasn’t sure what to do, how to react, minus the fact her clit was throbbing and her nipples were straining against her cami top. He looked crazed, like he just couldn't help himself. **  
**

And then he kissed her. Hard. Fast. Only for a second. Before pulling back and letting her go, then grabbing his wallet from the set of drawers in her hall and murmuring that he would see her on Friday...and then he was gone.  **  
**

And Rey was left, horny, alone and dreading Friday.

_No, I don't want to fall in love_

_No, I don't want to fall in love_

_With you_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY, so Ben is just throwing everything to the wind and all he can think about is losing her. Things are going to go OFF at games night and I am so hyped.
> 
> Also, thank you for telling me all your fav versions of the Wicked Game song - I am listening to them all. Also, there is a Reylo Wicked Game video on youtube that was out a few years ago. My gorgeous friends Sage showed me it and I like freaked out.
> 
> Please let me know what you think of the chapter. Can't wait xx


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for all your kind comments on this story, it honestly means the world to me and I am so glad that you are enjoying it. Yes, I have upped the chapter count...oops, but these too have a lot going on and even more to say. 
> 
> Biggest thank you goes to my amazing beta [fettuccine_alfreylo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fettuccine_alfreylo/pseuds/fettuccine_alfreylo) who is literally THE BEST and I just lurveeeee her. THANK YOU <3
> 
> This stunning moodboard is by my lovely friend [Azuwrite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azuwrite/pseuds/Azuwrite) who always supports me.
> 
> Hope you all enjoy the chapter, please check the tags <3

**Chapter Four**

It was finally Friday and Rey had been dreading it the entire week.  ** ** **   
** ** **

She hadn’t heard from Ben since he kissed her senseless and then stormed out her apartment the other day, not that she’d expected him to. They never really kept contact, out of the usual making plans for her heat.  ** ** **   
** ** **

Her nerves had been shot since he’d announced he was coming to the game night at Poe’s. She hoped he had changed his mind, which was entirely possible—she was sure it was just some weird Alpha show in front of Poe and that he wouldn’t actually go through with it.  ** ** **   
** ** **

They didn’t hang out with each other—ever, unless they were naked and delirious. And now, he was wanting to come to a social event with her. It didn’t make sense and frankly, was freaking her out.  ** ** **   
** ** **

She wasn’t sure what to wear; she didn’t normally get dressed up for a night at Poe’s and if she did wear something sexier, well, Poe would probably make a comment on it...which she knew wouldn’t go down well. She shoved on her black yoga pants and a long white-t, it was baggy and off the shoulder, but she liked it and she could admit she looked good.  ** ** **   
** ** **

She tied her hair up in a top bun so it was out of the way and dabbed some light make up onto her skin. Rey did a once over in the mirror; she wasn’t sure if the hair up was a bad idea; Ben  _ loved _ her neck, paid attention to it almost all the time. It might be distracting, but it might not...outside of her heat he might not give a fuck.  ** ** **   
** ** **

Rey checked the clock again. He should be here any moment and she felt nervous, it was ridiculous. She’d known him for most of her life, and fucked him an obscene amount of times. So much so it was like second nature, that she knew exactly how he worked, what he thought...she knew him better than herself sometimes. But here she was, pacing back and forth and acting like she was about to be put on trial—maybe she was.  ** ** **   
** ** **

She was finally pulled from her thoughts by a loud knock on her front door, a knock she would know anywhere. Rey shouted for Ben to come in and he did, shutting the door behind him.  ** ** **   
** ** **

Rey didn’t look up, instead she bent over and pulled on her converse, tying the laces and fucking it up multiple times before succeeding.  ** ** **   
** ** **

“You’re wearing them?” His deep, dark voice asked and she stood up, finally turning to face him.  ** ** **   
** ** **

He looked as handsome as ever and it hurt. More than she wanted it to. The pain of seeing him, of loving him the way she did would never go away, she was sure of it. The thing she wanted most in the world but could never have, standing in front of her without the faintest idea of how she felt.  ** ** **   
** ** **

“What?” she asked, unsure of his question. ** ** **   
** ** **

“The pants, you’re wearing them?” ** ** **   
** ** **

“Clearly,” Rey replied, not sure what he was getting at.  ** ** **   
** ** **

His face hardened before he answered, “They are rather tight, no?” ** ** **   
** ** **

Rey wanted to laugh, confused as to why he would even comment on them.  ** ** **   
** ** **

“Tight?” ** ** **   
** ** **

“Yeah, like...your ass, it’s um,  _ noticeable.” _ ** ** **   
** ** **

He looked like he was in pain, like he would rather be having any other conversation than this one. It was strange, and she didn’t exactly know how to answer him.  ** ** **   
** ** **

“And? What’s your point?” Rey raised an eyebrow, her hand on her hip.  ** ** **   
** ** **

“It’s just, fuck, it’s just, people might stare,” he groaned.  ** ** **   
** ** **

“And you care why?” ** ** **   
** ** **

“I don’t,” Ben said instantly, looking at anything but her.  ** ** **   
** ** **

“Well, they are staying on.” ** ** **   
** ** **

He rolled his eyes, mumbled something and then pulled out his phone and started to type. Rey quickly deduced that he was in a pissy mood and knew it was because of work. She didn’t know why he even showed up.  ** ** **   
** ** **

He clearly didn’t want to be here, would rather be anywhere else, actually. He didn’t like her pants, didn’t like her, probably.  ** ** **   
** ** **

“Why did you come?” Rey blurted out, her thoughts becoming too much for her.  ** ** **   
** ** **

He stopped whatever he was doing on his phone, probably answering emails or something, then looked up, staring at her straight in the eyes. “I was invited.” ** ** **   
** ** **

Rey laughed, unable to help herself. “Yes, but you don’t actually want to be here, do you?” ** ** **   
** ** **

He didn’t answer, instead he turned around and made his way to the door. Rey was eighty percent sure that he was going to leave, now she had confirmed he didn’t actually have to go to the party.  ** ** **   
** ** **

But instead, he stopped when he opened the door and turned around to face her again. “You coming?” He motioned his head towards the corridor and then strode out, and as always, like she had done her entire life—Rey followed him. 

** ** ** **

* * *

_ “Where are you going?” Rey whispered, giving Ben a fright as she watched him tip-toe towards the front door. It was three in the morning and she couldn’t sleep, instead deciding to put some clothes on and go sit in the kitchen.  _

_ Ben clearly hadn’t thought any one else was awake, and it was obvious he was sneaking out.  _

_ “Fuck, Rey, what are you doing hiding?” he laughed and walked over to the counter.  _

_ “Nothing, but what are you doing?”  _

_ He looked a little sheepish, like he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t be doing—which he had. She knew he wasn’t a good sleeper, he never had been, but she couldn’t help but wonder where he was going. Was he meeting someone? A girl? The thought made her feel sick.  _

_ They’d fucked the other week, during her heat, multiple times and since then things had been awkward. More than awkward. Whenever she was in the same room with him, a blush would come over her face. They shouldn’t have done it—they both knew it. And then their parents had come home and it was like they wanted to bury it, to never talk of it on the off chance they would be overheard.  _

_ “A walk, just needed to clear my head and it’s quiet at night, peaceful.” _

_ “I see...are you, um, meeting anyone?” Rey wished she didn’t sound so damn pathetic, but she did and they both knew it. She’d never been good at hiding her feelings, always wearing her heart on her sleeve, especially when it came to Ben.  _

_ He looked confused, like he didn’t understand why she asked him that question. “No, who would I be meeting?” _

_ “I don’t know, a girl or something…” _

_ He looked at her, his gaze dark, even in the pitch black room, she could still see it. Ben walked around the counter, till he was only a few steps away and took her hand in his.  _

_ “No, Rey. There is no one. No one else. I, I couldn’t um, I’m not interested in other girls. Not when I have you,” he whispered the last words, looking more vulnerable that she had ever seen him in his life.  _

_ “Me?” Rey’s heart was beating a mile a minute.  _

_ “Yes, you, Omega. I don’t want anyone else.” _

_ And she could tell he meant it, with everything in his being. He didn’t want anyone else, she just didn’t know why. She wasn’t special, her dad had left her and her mother when she was young, not wanting anything to do with them. She had never really had friends, either. Most people thought she was weird, and she was. Because what kind of girl fell in love and fucked her step-brother? She knew she was all kinds of a mess.  _

_ “But it’s wrong. We can’t, we can’t be together.” _

_ She hated to say it, to say the words that made her heart break into a tiny million pieces.  _

_ “I know, we can’t, doesn’t mean I don’t want you.” _

_ “Why did our parents have to marry? It’s not fair.” _

_ Rey felt like sobbing, like calling out Jyn and Han for ruining any chance she had of happiness. This bond between her and Ben, it was the kind of thing people searched for their entire lives and she had found it, with an Alpha she could never have, not completely.  _

_ “It’s not. But I won’t leave you, Rey. I’ll be there, every heat until you tell me not to. It’s not everything, but it’s all I can offer,” he said, and looked resigned to their cruel fate.  _

_ “I’ll never tell you no, never,” she whimpered and he lifted her hand, kissing it and then turning away and making his way to the door.  _

_ “Are you coming, Omega?” he said, motioning to the cold outdoors.  _

_ And she followed, knowing she would follow him forever.  _

* * *

They were half-way through game night and things were going surprisingly well. Ben hadn’t left her side and it was distracting her, more than she wanted to admit. His arm was over the back of the couch they were sitting on, just behind her and if she leaned back they would be touching.

Her friends were being lovely to Ben, too nice in fact, and she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Finn’s eyes had grown almost two sizes larger when Ben had walked into the room, raking in the large man in front of him and being unable to hide the fact he found him extremely attractive. Of course once he was over the initial shock, he was back to making heart eyes at Poe. Finn was the only other Omega that Rey was friends with and she couldn’t help the fact she was happy that his intentions weren’t on Ben. She didn’t know what she would have done if he had tried to make a move. Rose, a beta, didn’t seem as taken aback by Ben, instead introducing herself and making standard small talk with him. 

Poe, well he was being his usual self, making jokes, trying to get on Ben’s nerves by giving Rey extra attention. She knew he was trying to get to the bottom of their relationship, but they had played this game for so long that they weren’t going to come out and say it. They couldn’t make it real, it would hurt too much. 

“So, Ben, I haven’t seen you around here before. Are you and Rey close?” Poe asked, taking a swig of his drink and picking up a card from the top of the pile. 

They were playing poker and Ben was winning, which she knew must be pissing Poe off.  _ Alphas and their egos.  _

“Yup, we are close.”

Ben wasn’t giving much away, probably one of the reasons he was so good at poker, but Rey could see he was annoyed, the small eye twitch telling her everything she needed to know. 

“I mean, Rey didn’t even mention she had a brother,” Poe responded, a sly smile on his face. 

“Step-brother,” Kylo replied haughtily, and Rey wanted to reach out to him, to grab his hand and try to calm him down. 

But she couldn’t. There was nothing she could do. 

“Same thing, basically.” Poe shrugged and picked up another card. 

“Except we’re not related, so not the same thing,” Ben was looking at him with thunder in his eyes, and Rey jumped slightly when she felt Ben’s hand rest on her shoulder. 

“What does it even matter?” Rose interrupted, completely oblivious to what was going on as she picked up a handful of crisps and stared at her cards, her eyebrows furrowed. “You know, Solo, and I’m talking to you,” she pointed at Ben, “you are too good at this goddamn game.” 

Ben smiled slightly, his grip still on Rey’s shoulder. She wasn’t sure if he was even aware of it. She wasn’t sure if anyone was—except Poe, his eyes lingering on them, his eyebrows raised. 

“Yeah, man, I was hoping to win some money back tonight,” Finn replied, laughing. 

“That was never going to happen,” Rey joked and stuck out her tongue at her friend, hoping the mood would now be lightened. 

Ben seemed to be a little bit more at ease, letting go of her shoulder and picking up his whiskey to take a drink. It was surreal; seeing him sitting here with her friends, like he  _ belonged.  _

She thought about how this would be like if they were dating, actually dating. She could invite him to social events and not have to explain who he was, how they were related; nobody would care. It was something she would never have, but she let herself imagine it for a moment, to just revel in it. 

They continued to play for a few hours, the drinks flowing. Rey had never seen Ben laugh this much in years; they were all getting along and it seemed like he was actually having a good time. Finn had already invited him to his Halloween party the following week and surprisingly, Ben had accepted. 

Poe and Ben were even on friendlier terms, talking about the recent football scores and what they were going to dress as for the party. 

It was nice, and the more Rey drank, the more she enjoyed it. It was dangerous, really dangerous to let herself feel this way. It wasn’t real, she knew it, and she had to keep telling herself that. 

Once the games were finished, Rey started to help Poe tidy up, picking up some dishes and taking them into the kitchen, where Poe followed. The others were sitting watching crazy YouTube videos and laughing hysterically. 

“You have a good night, little one?” Poe asked, clearly intoxicated as he stood next to her. 

She wanted to laugh; it was typical Poe. He would constantly try it on with her once he had a drink, try it on with anyone in fact, but it seemed like she was in the line of fire. 

“I did, thank you for having us over...and for inviting Ben.”

He snorted and rolled his eyes. “Hmm, your brother.”

“Step-brother.”

“Sure.”

Rey didn’t like how he said it, how he looked so smug as he winked at her. “I wish I had a step-brother like that.”

“Like what?” She was trying to play it cool. Trying and failing. 

“I mean, you’re fucking him, aren’t you?”

Rey nearly fainted. How could he know? They were always so careful. Sure, Ben went mental the other day when he thought Poe was trying to fuck her, but that could have just stemmed from him being a protective big brother, not anything more. 

“Sorry?” She stuttered, wondering how she could possibly salvage this situation. 

“You two, you’re fucking,” he said it simply, like it wasn’t a big deal. “It’s obvious, I mean, he’s completely besotted with you, you know that right?”

No. She didn’t know that. She didn’t believe that. And she had no fucking idea how Poe had come to that conclusion.

Her head was spinning, unable to form a coherent sentence. “He’s, but he’s, my step-brother.”

“Yeah, not related,” he replied, repeating Ben’s earlier words. 

“But still—it’s not, it can’t,” she sobbed, not knowing where it was coming from. 

And Poe, well he looked like he pitied her—and that made the whole thing even worse. 

“Sure, it’s not exactly normal, but I get it Rey. We can’t help who we love.”

He smiled sadly, then turned around and started to clean the dishes, like he hadn’t just called her out on her deepest, darkest secret, her shame, and acted like it wasn’t a big deal. Because it was a big deal, wasn’t it? 

“I need, I need to go,” she said softly and then ran, away from Poe, away from the apartment. 

She didn’t even look or say anything to the others as her legs carried her out of the small apartment. She couldn’t look at them, wondering if they all thought the same, if they even cared. The fact that Poe hadn’t even batted an eye lash, that he actually understood—it changed everything. 

She heard them shout after her, but she didn’t stop, her feet smacking off the floor as she made her way down the stairs as fast as she could to her front door, bending over to pull the spare key from under the mat. And she was just about to enter, about to hide from it all when a large hand stopped her, grabbing both of her wrists and turning her around. 

_ Ben _ .

She couldn’t do this right now, couldn’t face him and tell him that their secret was out. That someone had worked out what they were doing, but worse than that, they accepted them. Out of all the ways she had replayed people’s reactions to them over and over in her head, understanding was not it. 

“Rey, what happened? Did he, did he touch you? I’ll fucking kill him, tell me?” Ben said angrily, his words rushed and his face red. 

“What?”

“Poe. Tell me, if he laid a fucking finger on you he’s dead,” he growled like a beast, and if Poe had touched her, she would have been frightened for him right now. 

She shook her head and replied softly, “No. No he didn’t touch me.”

“Then what? Tell me what happened so I can make it right.”

He seemed so serious, his eyes wide in panic as he continued to hold her like his life depended on it. Poe’s comment on Ben loving her resurfaced in her brain, but she pushed it back down, knowing it was false. 

“He knows, Ben.”

“Knows what?” He looked confused, his face screwing up in that cute way. 

“About us. About us sleeping together. He knows.”

An emotion she couldn’t quite put her finger on passed across his face before he went stoic, his usual indifference back to the forefront. 

“You told him,” he stated and let go of her wrists. 

“No, he worked it out. Why would I tell him? You honestly think I would do that? After everything?” Rey was angry now, did he really place so little trust in her? 

He looked uneasy and scratched the back of his neck, the way he always did when he didn’t quite know what he was doing, which made sense—he never really knew what he was doing with her and she felt the exact same. They had these unwritten rules, the main one being that no one, absolutely no one could know what they were to each other. 

“Fuck, I don’t know, but you have to tell him otherwise, make him see we aren’t.”

“But we are.”

His eyes snapped back to hers. “I know we are. But I don’t want people to know.”

His words hurt her. They made the blood in her veins turn to ice. And he didn’t even care. Which was why she said the next words, laced with as much venom as she could muster. “I guess I could just fuck him then, would that make you happy?”

She didn’t get a chance to say anything else before she was suddenly pushed up against the door, Ben crowding her as he sneered, “You would do that, Omega, you would fuck him?”

“Why not? You don’t want people to know about us, you want me to make him think otherwise. Fine, I will. My next heat I’ll—”

She didn’t get to finish, not before Ben had punched the door behind her, while simultaneously catching her lips in a brutal kiss and hiking her legs around his waist. 

“You’re mine, Omega. What don’t you get about that?  _ Mine _ . I’ll fucking show you.”

And he did. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeaaaaaah, things are going to be INTENSE next chapter. And I literally cannot wait for you all to see.
> 
> Please let me know what you think by leaving a comment.
> 
> All my love xx


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone for all their kindness regarding this story, I can't tell you how much it means to me.
> 
> My other half [AlbaStarGazer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlbaStarGazer/pseuds/AlbaStarGazer) made me this absolutely STUNNING moodboard. Thank you so much <3
> 
> Biggest thank you goes to my lovely beta [fettuccine_alfreylo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fettuccine_alfreylo/pseuds/fettuccine_alfreylo) who is absolutely amazing.
> 
> This chapter is basically just smut...enjoy :)

**Chapter Five**

Rey couldn’t see straight, couldn’t think straight, the only thing she could taste, feel, touch was Ben —and he was  _ everywhere _ .  **   
**

He was so angry, so annoyed at the fact she had even mentioned Poe that he was licking her gland aggressively, her body pushed hard against her apartment door. Anyone could see them, could walk down the hallway and stumble upon the Alpha and Omega that were currently in their own haze of lust—but neither of them cared.  **   
**

The fact that this was the first time Ben had ever touched her like this outside of her heat entered her mind, and it should mean  _ something _ , it was another boundary that they had crossed without actually speaking about it. And Rey knew like everything else, it would be swept under the carpet along with all their other issues and secrets. It seemed to be their way—to bury their heads in the sand and not talk or confront the fact that what they were doing was wrong.  **   
**

But right now, with him rutting against her, licking her neck  _ just _ right, it was always too much to ever make any of them see sense. In this moment, they didn’t want to, instead they wanted to continue on the natural high they experienced from being with the other, from becoming one. It also didn’t help that she found his jealousy a complete turn on. There was something about the fact this beautiful man in front of her wanted her for himself. It made her feel special—like they were more. **   
**

Except they weren’t, no matter how much she wished it to be true. Instead, they were step-siblings, ones that fucked when they needed to, like some trashy porno you would find on PornHub. It was a mess, they were a mess—but at least they were in it together. **   
**

“You drive me fucking crazy, Omega,” he grunted into her ear, then bit down lightly on her lobe, making her whimper. “No one is to touch you but me—not ever.”  **   
**

Each word made her pussy clench in anticipation and she could feel the slick starting to pool in her underwear. She was sure he could smell it too, with the way his pheromones spiked in that delicious way that she had come to love. The way their bodies reacted to each other was insane, unlike anything she had ever heard of before. She knew that Alpha and Omegas were biologically programmed to want the other—but this, this was something completely different. It was like breathing, like water...it was necessary for her to survive. **   
**

His large hands were gripping her thighs and she was sure there would be marks left on them tomorrow, evidence of their tryst left for her to mull over like she always did. Every time they had been together, he always left some evidence of what had happened, like he was marking her as his own. **   
**

“No one can fuck you like I do, you know that, don’t you?” he asked, his voice gruff as he pulled back. “These fucking pants should be illegal you know, in fact…” **   
**

The next second, Rey heard a large rip as Ben’s hands pulled on either side of the material covering her cunt, the yoga pants effectively ruined. Normally, she would shout at him, would curse him up and down and demand he buy her another pair, but instead, she quickly decided that was without a doubt one of the sexiest things that she had ever witnessed. His eyes were wild, his pupils dilated and she knew he was just as affected by what was happening as she was. One hand still held onto her, the other undid his trousers and boxers, opening them and letting his large cock free. It bobbed, once, twice before he pumped it a few times in his hand, the pre-cum dripping from the tip. Rey had the sudden urge to lick it, to taste him.  **   
**

“I think I need to remind you what this body needs— _ who _ it needs.”  **   
**

Rey nodded, unable to speak as he lined himself up against her, pushing her soaked underwear to the side. He didn’t need to prep her, she was wet enough, and with one brutal thrust, he was inside her, her back pushed even harder against the door again. It was heaven. It was home. He was everything that she craved, that she needed in her life.  **   
**

“Fuck, you’re always so tight, every time I feel you again I’m so close to cumming it’s almost embarrassing,” he gritted out, his hair a mess on his head as her fingers grasped on. She realised she still hadn’t spoken a word; here he was saying the filthiest things from those divine lips and she was speechless, unable to form a coherent sentence. “Cat got your tongue, Omega?” he continued and smiled smugly. It seemed he was also a mind reader. **   
**

Rey just rolled her eyes and was rewarded with another deep thrust into her core. It was hard, fast and all-consuming. He didn’t speak again, instead he fucked her, with everything he had in him. Their moans, groans and loud thumping from her smacking off the door with each thrust was filtering throughout the hallway. If anyone hadn’t already seen them, they didn’t need to now. It was obvious what was happening out here. A sordid part of Rey, one that she hid away, wanted someone to watch them—she took pleasure in the thought of someone watching Ben fuck her senseless.  **   
**

“You still want another, Rey?” he said, his voice strained as sweat started to cover his brow. “You think another Alpha would make you feel this good?”  **   
**

No. No Alpha could ever make her feel this way and he knew it, they both did. She was his as much as he was hers. And she was sure now that it would never change.  **   
**

“Speak, Rey. Tell me now,” he demanded, his thrusts slowing down, becoming shallower as he waited, his deep eyes devouring her. **   
**

She blew out a sharp breath and replied, “No, no one but you, Ben. Always you.”  **   
**

He fucked her harder again, as hard as he could, each thrust made her feel like she was falling deeper into his soul—into everything that was Ben. It was overwhelming, really, just how much she  _ felt _ for him. Life-changing, really.  **   
**

“Mine, Omega. Always mine. Don’t care how fucked up this is, never cared,” he whispered into her neck, his teeth grazing her gland again.  **   
**

He lifted her up further, the new angle making her see stars as he continued his brutal pace. How his knees hadn’t given away by now, Rey would never know. His hand came down between them, circling the small bud just above where his cock was pumping in and out of her. It only took a few seconds, an embarrassingly small amount of time until she was spasming around him—her head falling back against the door. She called his name out, over and over until her voice was hoarse. **   
**

Ben followed straight after her, a few extra thrusts and then she could feel his seed deep inside her, spilling from his cock as he roared something unintelligible, his hips stuttering front and back. His hold on her only became even tighter as he pulled his face from her neck and touched his forehead against her own. **   
**

“Let’s go inside, Rey.” 

* * *

_ “Let’s go inside, Rey,” Ben said and motioned towards the house they both lived in. It was getting cold outside and they had been out on the deck reading, not even realising the time. She didn’t want to go in, she didn’t want to have to be her closed off and guarded self around their parents. Rey wanted to stay out here forever, where they could just be.  _ **   
**

_ “I don’t want to,” she pouted and hid under the blanket she had brought out with her.  _ **   
**

_ She giggled as she heard Ben laugh, then slowly stomp one foot at a time over to her. She waited patiently, knowing what was coming, but still jumped when he pulled the blanket from her—a large smile on his face as he started tickling her. _ **   
**

_ “Ben—ah—oh my—stooopppppppp,” she cried out and kicked her legs out in front of her, which he caught, of course.  _ **   
**

_ It really wasn’t fair that he was this big and she really didn’t stand a chance against him in a tickle fight, she knew this from experience and had learned the hard way. He finally stopped, her feet still in his hands as he massaged them lightly, just how she liked it. Their bodies were always so in sync, knew exactly what the other wanted and when. Their parents sometimes joked that Ben was her shadow—if they only knew. _

_ “You’re completely adorable, you know that?” Ben said softly, his large fingers still pushing into the bottom of her feet.  _ **   
**

_ It wasn’t fair. Wasn’t fair that he was this good looking, this nice to her, this perfect. It broke her heart and mended it back together, over and over, a never-ending cycle that she was unable to break.  _ **   
**

_ “No, I’m not and you know it. I mean, I snore…” _ **   
**

_ “And that’s adorable.” _ **   
**

_ “And when I’m angry I scrunch my face up so much that mum says I look like a Pug,” she laughed. _ **   
**

_ “That also is unbelievably adorable.” He opened her legs, putting them on either side of his waist as he walked further towards her. “Face it, Omega, you’re the most adorable thing I have ever seen.”  _ **   
**

_ Her face was flushed, her body thrumming with electricity as she looked up into his eyes. Why couldn’t it always be like this? Why couldn’t she have this Ben Solo as her own, forever? Life wasn’t fair.  _ **   
**

_ “You’re just saying that…” _ **   
**

_ “I wish I was, but it’s true. There is no one like you, Rey.”  _ **   
**

_ His eyes, full of something she couldn’t quite place, stared back at her, the emotion laid bare in them. It was painful, beautiful, a complete contradiction and she wasn’t sure how she should respond. There were no words, nothing she could say that would make their situation any better. She could say she was mad about him, that she thought about him all the time, that she longed for the day they could leave this place and be together, away from their families and all the expectations that were laid on them.  _ **   
**

_ “There is, I’m nothing special—I’m nothing, no one.” _ **   
**

_ “Not to me, Rey. Not to me.”  _ **   
**

_ She didn’t realise there was a tear falling down her cheek until he leaned over, his finger catching it on her cheek bone and wiping it away so tenderly.  _ **   
**

_ “I don’t think I can ever be without you, Ben,” she whispered, so softly she was unsure if he heard it. But his face told her that he did.  _ **   
**

_ “You won’t be, Rey. I’ll never leave you, ever.”  _

* * *

****   
  


The apartment was silent and she wasn’t sure if he was asleep or not. She wasn’t sure how things had come to be like this; his arm wrapped around her as he held her close to his chest, his shallow breathing on her neck. She had dreamt of this, of this closeness for so long. Never had this happened, never when they both weren’t mad with lust for each other while she was deep in her heat.  **   
**

This was different, this was  _ more _ , but Rey was too afraid to ask him why. She had wanted him to stay. And he hadn’t said anything as he had undressed, folding his clothes neatly, then gone to wash up before coming into her bed next to her and scooping her into his arms.  **   
**

She could pretend when they were like this, pretend that this was what she came home to every night. It was a cruel sort of dream, really, but for now she let herself bask in it, soaking in every single moment and committing it to memory for all of eternity.  **   
**

“Are you awake?” he asked, his voice low and gruff—the first words he had spoken to her since he fucked her against her apartment door like a wild animal. **   
**

“Yes.”  **   
**

“I need you,” his voice was soft, reminding her of the boy she once knew, it was almost pleading. **   
**

Rey didn’t say anything else, instead she turned around to face him, the light from the moon filtering through the slightly opened curtains and illuminating his handsome face. They stared at each other, all the anger, all the pretence from earlier gone. Right now it was just Rey and Ben. Nothing else. No family connections, no heat...just them. **   
**

Ben moved forward first, kissing her softly on the lips, timidly like he was almost scared she would pull away, that she wouldn’t want this. How wrong he was. Rey kissed him back with everything she had in her—her tongue slipping into his mouth in the most sensual kiss she had ever experienced. It was long, soft, loving...there was no usual rush that came with her heats, when all she could think about was being split in half by him. Instead she felt like they had all the time in the world, like she could do this for hours—and they did.  **   
**

Finally, after what seemed like forever, he rolled on top of her, kissing down her neck, her breasts, kissing every inch of her he could get, like he never wanted to stop. He was worshipping her, it was the only word she could use to describe it along with the way he looked up at her—like she was his entire world. Like they were nineteen again and couldn’t see past each other. **   
**

He slid into her again, this time slowly, as if she would break if he was too hard, his hips rocking back and forth as he intertwined their hands above her, his forehead pressed against hers just like he had done earlier. It had never been like this, ever. This wasn’t just fucking, this was something else entirely, something she was scared to name. **   
**

Their coupling lasted longer than usual, Ben taking his time, pushing in and out of her at a torturous rhythm while he went between kissing her lips, her cheeks, her nose, and telling her just how beautiful and amazing he thought she was.  **   
**

It was like they were under a spell, that there was only them and this small apartment and nothing else outside of it mattered. He finally spilled inside her with a soft groan, just as she climaxed around him, their stars aligning in the most spiritual and emotional experience of her life.  **   
**

When he finally pulled out, he brought her close again, kissing her mating gland, over and over, lulling her off to sleep with his soft nips. And she fell, fell into a dreamless sleep, where Ben told her he loved her, where he whispered it in her ear on a continuous loop.  **   
**

She wished it had been real, that he had actually said those words, and she even had a mind to ask him if he had when she woke up in the morning. Except, next to her where she had expected him to be was nothing—he had left, run out on her in the middle of the night without a word.  **   
**

And her world came crashing down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry about the cliffhanger...things were going so well. Please let me know what you think by dropping a comment.
> 
> Thank you for reading <3


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY, FIRST THINGS FIRST, ARE ANY OF US EVER GOING TO BE OVER THAT TRAILER? NO? GOOD. Also, I have my tickets for TROS, midnight showing with my other half AlbaStarGazer and I AM SO EXCITED/SCARED/HAPPY/NERVOUS...
> 
> Thank you so much everyone for your comments on the last chapter. It honestly means so much to me and I know everyone was super upset he left, as was I. This story really has a mind if it's own, but it is all planned out and I think it might be a little more than 8 chapters...think maybe 10/12. But we shall see. This chapter is mostly flashback, but is important for reasons that will make sense. 
> 
> The biggest thank you goes to my lovely beta [fettuccine_alfreylo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fettuccine_alfreylo/pseuds/fettuccine_alfreylo) who is an angel. She also made me this stunning moodboard. Please go and check out her fics. I am obsessed with her <3 
> 
> Enjoy...

**Chapter Six**

It was Wednesday and Rey was still reeling from the weekend. She was hurting; her head, her body and most importantly, her heart. She didn’t know why it seemed so much  _ worse _ this time. How that the fact he left like that made her feel physically sick—so much so she had called in to work, which really wasn’t like her. The only upside being that her boss, Maz, knew Rey never took sick days, so she was more than fine with her having a few days off.  **   
**

She had hardly moved from her bed, still pathetically hugging the pillow that he had been lying on and smelling the musky smell that was all Ben. It brought her some comfort, something to hold onto into the darkness that was consuming her.  **   
**

Rey couldn’t go on like this—she couldn’t be with him once a month and for it to mean nothing. She had to end it, properly end it and only see him once a year at Christmas dinner or something like that. She couldn’t live with the torment every time he left. Each time he did it, her heart shattered a little more, it was now irreparable, that she knew. But at least if she cut ties with him, if she stopped this, then she could prevent any more damage from being done to her. Then again, never being with him again was a whole other torment in itself.  **   
**

_ Agony _ . That was the only way she could describe the thought of never feeling his arms around her, of never being able to kiss those full lips, of never having him thrust inside her and look into her eyes like she was his world. She honestly didn’t know what pain was worse. **   
**

Which was why she lay here, in her bed, rocking back and forth and trying her hardest to figure out what the fuck to do with this shit situation. Something had to change. It had to. They couldn’t go on like this. She couldn’t. Not when things were seeming to change—the fact that they had slept together outside of her heat—it had never, never happened before...sure it had come close to happening, and even then they knew it wasn’t the right thing to do.

* * *

_ It was the first time they were alone since Rey’s first heat, and they still hadn’t really discussed what happened. Of course, they stared at each other, stared so much that their parents were picking up on it. Then they would look away, blushing and pretending they had been zoning out on something completely different.  _ **   
**

_ Things had changed between them, Rey was noticing so much more about him—small things, things that may be insignificant to everyone else, but not to her. She also had seen a change in Ben, he was always closer to her, more protective, his large hand falling to the small of her back any time they were together—which was most of the time. His eyes always seemed darker now when he looked at her, like he was thinking about their first time together. Like he maybe wanted more.  _ **   
**

_ She knew she did. The ache between her legs when she was in his presence was complete torture. She wanted him, needed him, so much that she could hardly stand it. There were so many nights she lay in her bed, thinking about him, about his large fingers, his teeth nipping at her neck, of the way he felt inside her. It always ended in her small hands trailing down her stomach and finding her clit, rubbing it in small circles to get that sweet relief she craved. But it was never enough, and she knew she would never be satisfied until she felt him again. Which was a big fucking problem. It was supposed to be a one time thing. Ben had helped her out, getting her through her first heat and that was it...except it wasn’t and she wanted more.  _ **   
**

_ Rey paced back in forth in her bedroom, wondering what he was doing right now. She could hear the music from his own room down the hall and knew he was probably reading; it was his favourite past time. And though he had never admitted it, she knew he would write himself, the small notebook in his pocket that he always carried around with him his most valued possession. Rey would love to know what he wrote about, wondered if it was about her, about what happened—but she would never invade his privacy like that. If he wanted her to see it, he would have shown her already. _ **   
**

_ Her hand was on the doorknob, wondering if she should go to his room, would it be too bold a move? Would he know what she wanted? Probably. After all, he knew her better than anyone. Rey swore under her breath as she pulled her shoulders back, telling herself to grow up. She had been in his room hundreds of times, it didn’t mean anything, he could think she just wanted to hang out.  _ **   
**

_ Rey braced herself and opened her bedroom door and walked down the hallway to Ben’s room. She knocked loudly on the door as soon as she stopped, not wanting to back out.  _ **   
**

_ “Come in,” Ben’s gruff voice shouted, overpowering the music blasting from his speakers.  _ **   
**

_ She took a deep breath and opened the door, surprised when he was standing on the other side of it, his naked chest bared. She swallowed the moan that tried to escape free as she took him in. This truly wasn’t fair to her. How could she proposition him, get her head straight when he was standing there and looking like some Greek God or something. How could he ever want her? When it was her heat it was different, biology controlled them then, but now...now it was just her and him.  _ **   
**

_ Rey started to panic, her eyes trailing down his torso and watching each breath with the rise and fall of his taut chest. She could hardly hear the music or see anything else around the room, all she could focus on was him, every one of her senses completely standing to attention and in tune to every movement, breath, sound he made. It was like being one with him.  _ **   
**

_ “Rey,” Ben said, his voice laced with something she couldn’t quite put her finger on; pain, maybe. “I can smell you—fuck. I can smell you.”  _ **   
**

_ Yes, pain was correct. Her eyes lifted to his face, his eyes pleading and dark, his cheeks were slightly reddened and his body shaking. And then she noticed something else; something big and large that was currently tented in the basketball shorts he was wearing.  _ **   
**

_ She didn’t know what to say. She was caught, but then again, so was he. Both of them clearly turned on and wanting the other. Had he already been hard before she walked in here? She wondered. Had he been sitting and thinking about her the same way she had about him? Rey wanted to know, but was of course too scared to actually ask. _ **   
**

_ Instead she walked over to him, small steps until they were chest to chest, his erection against her skin. “I want you, Ben.”  _ **   
**

_ He groaned, like this was all he had wanted to hear, like he couldn’t actually handle the fact she wanted him back. Her small hands rested on his hard chest, stroking his pecs as she stared up at him. She had laid her cards out on the table, her deepest desires known to him. This wasn’t just about a heat, about their biology, it was something more—so much more. _ **   
**

_ “I’ve wanted you every moment since the last time I had you, Rey.”  _ **   
**

_ And he kissed her, softly at first, testing, like this was their first kiss and she guessed it kind of was in a weird way. His lips were full, generous, exploring, like they had all the time in the world. The urgency of the last time had disappeared and now it was just them, enjoying. She could feel the heat radiating from him as his hands held onto her hips, gripping them lightly.  _ **   
**

_ “This is so wrong, you know that, don’t you?” Ben whispered, and he looked scared, just how she felt.  _ **   
**

_ It was wrong. On so many levels and the self-hatred they both had for themselves was clear on their faces. They shouldn’t want each other like this—they shouldn’t be kissing, never mind sleeping together. They shouldn’t even be having these thoughts. They were family, had been brought up together and this, it wasn’t right. No one would ever understand, no one but them. _ **   
**

_ “I do, Alpha. I do.” Rey bit her lip. “But I don’t care. Not right now, not when you’re kissing me like that.”  _ **   
**

_ He smiled, but it was a sad sort of smile, bittersweet. “I know, Omega, I know. So wrong, but so right.”  _ **   
**

_ Ben kissed down her neck, his hands falling down to her ass as he squeezed it, then grabbed her fully and lifted her into his arms, her legs wrapped around his waist as he deposited her on his desk. Rey could faintly hear things tumbling onto the floor, but it didn’t matter. Ben’s kissing grew more urgent as he rocked himself against her. The friction of the bulge in his shorts against her core was driving her crazy and she was sure she could orgasm already.  _ **   
**

_ “You smell so fucking ready, Omega.” His hand fell to the waistband of her leggings and he pushed it inside, taking no time in plunging his fingers into her thong and rubbing up and down her soaking cunt. “You feel even better—fucksake Rey—this is all for me?”  _ **   
**

_ “Always.”  _ **   
**

_ He groaned again, his fingers parting her and pushing inside of her heat, one finger, then two, pumping in and out and she threw her head back.  _ **   
**

_ “I’ve dreamt about this pussy every single day since I was last inside it. Do you have any fucking idea what it’s like sitting at that dinner table across from you? Knowing that there is only one thing in the room that I want to feast on.”  _ **   
**

_ And from his fingers and words alone, Rey tightened around him, the blinding light pummelling throughout her entire body as her orgasm hit her full force. She couldn’t have stopped it, delayed it if she wanted to. Instead she was a mess in his arms, his fingers still pushing in and out of her at a punishing pace.  _ **   
**

_ “You’re so sensitive, Rey. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, ever needed—I need to fuck you now—I need you to realise how much I, l—” Ben was interrupted by the echo of the slam of the house’s front door.  _ **   
**

_ Ben jumped away from her, panic in his eyes as the realisation that their parents were home washed over them both. Rey tried to get herself together as she jumped off the desk and onto the floor, unsteady on her feet due to the earth-shattering orgasm she had just received at the hand of her step-brother. The same hand that reached out to steady her now, that told her to get out his room as quickly as possible.  _ **   
**

_ She only had thirty seconds tops until their parents made their way up the stairs and if they walked in now they would know what had happened—Ben with his large erection and Rey with her flushed face, the smell of her ripe in the small room. So she ran, light on her feet as she made her way down the hallway again and jumped into her room, closing the door behind her and locking the door, just for good measure. She would shower, change, anything to get the smell of her and Ben mixed together off of them.  _ **   
**

_ Her mother had knocked on the door, asking her if everything was alright and she’d lied, saying she had a headache and was staying in bed for a little longer. Of course, Jyn didn’t ask her anything further, unaware of the truth. _ **   
**

_ Rey’s nerves were shaken, the different scenarios of how that could have played out were at the forefront of her mind. What if they had been in the middle of fucking? If they hadn’t heard the door? They would have been fucked, split up, probably taken to therapists and doctors...they would have been seen as needing some help. And that scared her, it brought her back down to earth and reiterated the fact that this wasn’t right.  _ **   
**

_ And clearly, it had for Ben too, because when Rey finally stepped out of the shower there was a text message waiting from him on her phone, telling her they couldn't do this again. That it was over. That they were family. That it was wrong.  _ **   
**

* * *

Rey laughed softly as she thought back to the time they almost got caught. It was the only time they had even attempted anything outside of her heat. And the heats were always carefully planned in advance after that, ensuring there was no way that they would be interrupted or caught—it mostly involved hotel rooms and elaborate lies to their parents. Until they were old enough and moved out. And then Ben, Ben got that job and disengaged from her even further, became colder, more self-hating than ever...and here they were. One big fucking mess.  **   
**

She felt like she was eighteen again, except this time she should know better, she should know that this was never going to end well, ever. The fact that they could never be stared her in the face. Maybe once upon a time, when he was the old Ben, the one that cared about her and would do anything for her, she could have gotten through to him then. They could have sat their parents down and talked about this, or even run away together. They could have done something, anything other than nothing.  **   
**

But it was too late—and Ben leaving her the other morning, after that. After what she could only describe as making love — well, it hurt and more than anything, she wouldn't stand for it. Her feelings for him aside, she deserved more than that. The whole weekend had just been the cruellest trick; having him with her friends, laughing and joking, then him staying the night, fucking her outside her heat and like she was his everything.  **   
**

And now, he was gone. It meant nothing to him, clearly. So Rey sat up in her bed and picked up her phone, scrolling down to Ben Solo’s name and sending a text message. The same one he had sent her all those years ago.  **   
**

She told him they couldn’t do this again, ever, not in or outside of her heat. That it was over. That they were family. That it was wrong. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, TMI time, but I was fully in the depths of my time of the month while writing this, is it obvious? Bahaha. Honestly, the angst is here...and yeah, the flashbacks are also going to be showing what changed in their relationship, especially since we can see they were once SO close. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think and thank you so much for reading <3

**Author's Note:**

> So, the angst and smut are going to be strong in this one. We are going to have flashbacks scattered in every chapter too. We will see Ben and Rey meeting as kids, growing up, we will also get that first heat too.
> 
> Please, please leave me a comment and kudos and let me know what you think.
> 
> You can find me on twitter [here](https://mobile.twitter.com/LEscapism).
> 
> Thank you so much for reading.


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